Feeling stuck? Remember, this moment isn’t the whole story.
EXPERT OPINION BY ALEXIS FRANZESE
The results of the midterm elections came in this week, and by Wednesday morning, people we’re already trying to explain what they meant. A rebuke, a mandate, a turning point, a warning, a new beginning. The end of one political era and the beginning of another.
That is what you do with important moments. You experience something in the present. Then immediately you begin assigning it a permanent meaning.
I understand why. Uncertainty is uncomfortable. You want to know what this moment means, where it is leading, and how long it will last. You want to turn an event into a story, and a story into a forecast.
When I work with people as a licensed
But when I work with people as a licensed psychologist (NC), I often encourage them to add two words to the end of their thoughts: right now.
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- I am overwhelmed right now.
- I don’t know what to do right now.
- This relationship is painful right now.
- I feel lost right now.
- I cannot imagine feeling differently right now.
Those two words do not make the experience less real. They make it more precise.
Why “right now” can change how you see difficult situations
There is a difference between saying, “I am anxious,” and saying, “I am anxious right now.” There is a difference between “This will never get better” and “I cannot see how this gets better right now.”
The first statement turns a feeling into an identity or a prediction. While the second acknowledges the experience without pretending that the present moment has revealed the entire future.
Source: www.inc.com
